Why you're not going to change my mind, or my vote
Politics has always be en one of those things that I've shied away from.
I was still in high school when this war started. I was only 16 when the Twin Towers fell.
I knew I was angry. I knew I felt sick to my stomach what was happening. All of the sudden that crap that went on in the mystical, frightening "middle east" was on our soil. I didn't understand it, and mostly, I think I still don't understand it.
In 2001, I was thankful that George Bush was our President. He was our savior. Our cowboy. He stood in front of us all, and said that he'd get the bastards that did this to us. To our people. To New York. To all of us. I wore MIA dog tags for a missing New York firefighter. His name was Peter Lagone. My mom wore one with his brother's name on it, Thomas Lagone.
In my simple, young mind, I though that we should just trust the President. I was angry, we were all angry. Bomb the bastards. I truly felt that way. Bomb them. They can't touch us. Better them than us.
We went to Afghanistan. The Taliban. Osama Bin Laden.
Then, almost two years later, I remember sitting in my Economics class, and our teacher turned on the TV so we could all watch the Shock & Awe. The song "Bombs Over Baghdad" popped in my head. The bright, lime green flashes of light reminded me of when I was 5, watching what was happening in the Golf War.
I tried not to think of the people that were dying in all the fireworks. Then the bell rang and I was over it. We walked out of the classroom, more concerned with how many credits we needed to make up so we could graduate.
When I was 18 I registered as a Repuiblican at the same time I signed the petition to get Gray Davis out of office...outside of a Target.
After we had been in Iraq for over a year, and it became clear that maybe there weren't those WMDs after all, I became a little suspicious.
We were at war. I wasn't quite sure why anymore. The anger I felt because of 9/11 had faded away. I supported the troops. I knew that much. It wasn't their fault, they were doing their job.
Come 2004, it was time to vote for Bush or Kerry. I felt like we needed to be out of Iraq. However, Kerry was a jackass. Edwards seemed like an overpaid weather man with bad hair. When they spoke, I didn't believe them. Was it the Republican in me that hated them, or did I just not trust them?
I voted for Bush. I voted for him on the notion that this was his mess, his war, and he was going to have to fucking clean it up. I didn't want Jackass and Weatherman coming into office with their fake hair and lies, and try to clean up something that was far greater, and had far more secrets than they knew about.
Slowly I really began to wonder about Bush. The troops. Rumsfeld. I got tired of being a Republican.
I think was really did it for me was the gay marriage issue. How in the fucking world did they not see that denying gay people the right to marriage was unconstitutional? It still blows my mind. How, HOW do you DENY someone ANYTHING because of WHO THEY LOVE? Do you really care THAT MUCH where someone's dick goes? How they get off? Who they cuddle up to at night?
And why do you care about that?? OH. That's right. Some mythical guy who can turn water into wine and wore Birkenstocks. Sure, he was a lovely guy, but I thought he taught people about love, and peace. And I'm also pretty sure that old ass book that tells you one man is not suppose to lay next to (or in) another man is just that: OLD AS FUCK.
Don't talk to me about being Green and Global Warming and tell me that the "state of the union is strong" and expect me to take you seriously when you still tell people who they can and can't fuck. Or try to tell me what I can or can't do with my uterus.
I eventually registered as "Decline To State".
After moving to London, and after really getting involved and realizing how much I cared about feminism, and just equality for everyone (except stupid people) I realized what a fucked up mess all this Republican, Democrat, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter bulllllshit is.
On my way home from the fucked up Feminism conference I went to in Newcastle, I started really thinking about politics. I was on fire. I didn't agree with everything those hardcore, ridiculously hardcore feminist said...but I knew one thing. We need a change.
Desperately, desperately need a change.
I walked into a bookstore at the Newcastle train station. I looked for any magazine or book that wasn't about Britney Spears or the confessions of a hooker...and then I saw Hillary Clinton's smug little smile staring at me from across the aisle.
Growing up, I was taught to hate Bill Clinton, and to hate Hillary even more. I remember thinking that he was slime after the whole Lewinsky, cigar incident, and thinking that Hillary was a moron for staying with him. Now, I realize that I don't give a shit. I don't care about who people fuck or what their relationship is like. I think in politics people tend to care too much about that stuff. ("I FUCK MY WIFE!"...5:45 in the video. The rest of is is Bill Maher being a misogynist asshole.)
I started to read Hillary's book, and realized that she was much more human than everyone thinks. I read about her family, how she grew up, her time in law school. I read about her views on Medicare, and how involved she was in Bill's presidency. I'll be honest and say I haven't finished it, I'm about half way through Bill's first term, but I had read enough to know I believed in Hillary.
I decided to vote for her back in July.
I had to ask myself if I wanted to vote for her because she was a woman, or because I thought she would be the right person for the job. The answer is both. As I said before, we need a change. A big one. It's absolutely RIDICULOUS that we haven't had a female leader yet. Hillary is the closest we're going to get for a very long time, and I know that she's the right person for the job. I feel it in my bones.
On the contrary, if Condi Rice was running, I would NOT vote for her. Yes, she's a woman. No, I don't think she's right for the job. But, you probably just think I'm racist, and that's why I'd chose not to vote for her, right?
My politics have changed dramatically., but I changed them on my own. There are things that I care very much about. I care very much about womens rights, and you know there's no way in HELL Hillary is going to reverse Roe vs Wade.
I know she made some lame voting decisions in the Senate. I've been told everything about Hillary from the fact that she's a criminal and a fake, to a communist. For the record, I'm not a moron. I know politicians are dirty, and I don't expect any less than that from the Clintons. They've probably killed people and hid their bodies somewhere at Camp David. To be honest, I don't care. I suppose this even gives them street cred. Maybe they even have their own gang signs.
I've been told Bill Clinton was a horrible president, granted I was very young while he was in power, but I don't recall any wars, any drastic financial crisis...only a stain on a blue dress.
At the end of the day, I trust that Hillary is going to go in there and kick ass. It's the best of both worlds for me, she's going to tackle the issues I care about (universal health care, civil unions -not the same as gay marriage I KNOW-, getting our troops out of Iraq, stem cell research) and she'll be breaking the highest glass ceiling there is by doing it.
I'm sure Obama's a great guy. I'm sure he's a great politician. I'm sure he'd probably do well as the President. But just not now. Not where our country is at the moment.
I've seen him talk, and I just don't believe him. I don't get excited by what he has to say, or how he says it. Call me stupid, but I need to feel something when someone who wants my vote talks to me. Obama talks...I feel nothing.
On the contrary, when Hillary talks I get goose bumps. I get excited. I BECOME SEXUALLY AROUSED at the thought of her giving a State of the Union speech.
I suppose the bottom line for me, is that I've made up my mind who I want to be my President.
I don't feel the need to swap statistics, or voting histories, or secret facts with you. I don't want to hear about some book that was written that proves why Hillary is a commie or why Obama is inexperienced. I don't care. In politics, I really don't believe there is any truth. I don't take anything for fact. I go with my gut, and take in as much information as I can understand, and try to form an opinion about something, which I feel is as close to the truth as I can get.
This is why I am voting for Hillary Clinton in 2008.
This is why I'm Decline To State.
I am not Democrat. I am not Republican.
I am simply an American, who has seen and experienced how the rest of the world sees us. It's not pretty, at the moment. We're in a bit of a mess. We need a clean up crew. We need a change.
We need some ovaries. Women get shit done.
Comments
I wonder how many people dont like hilary because of who she's married to, not because of her political views.
If nothing else I think bill will make a great first lady.
I like how you've described what's in effect your catharsis of believing one thing and gradually coming round to believing another, including the process of growing up from what you believed at 16. What you've written reminds me of the way I felt after fully believing in the Kosovo war intervention and then feeling betrayed when I heard that depleted uranium weaponry had been used which suddenly made it far less humanitarian, far less ethical, and far less right. I believed in intervention to stop humanitarian emergencies - and if another arises I will remain torn, since clearly in Kosovo something had to be done, and in the case of Rwanda we all sat by and watched (like with Darfur now). I just don't trust our leaders to wage the kinds of wars that they should, but instead to betray those that they help with their methods, incapability, and unjustifiable choice of weaponry.
Oh dear, I've ranted. But anyway, they're my thoughts.
http://www.cfr.org/bios/13303/ron_paul.html
http://ronpaul2008.com
I guess you could say he's a bit of an underdog right now, but he's raised a lot of funds outside of "usual" -- i.e. mega corporations and super wealthy families. He's set a lot of records in that... and appeals to a lot of people our age -- a lot of republicans (true republicans), independents and even Democrats.
I'm not here to change your mind, but I do think he's worth looking into!
Miss Cate,
I only just finished my own election post a moment ago--something very different in tone than yours--and turned, as usual, to seeing what was up in my neighborhood. Thank you for your words. I'm not saying that I've suddenly seen the light. I'm still disenchanted...hell, it's only been ten minutes...but when I say I want to be passionate about a candidate, what I mean is I want to feel what you must feel to have written such a personal and practical tale of political evolution.
And you have made me stop and think...my only problem with Hillary isn't that she's married to Bill or that she stayed with him, but rather that she would be yet another legacy President, "the wife of". The thing is though, if she and Bill had been running against eachother, I'd have voted for her first. And when it comes down to it, that's a small reason--especially when weighed against all you say and I agree with--not to vote for her.
Maybe I won't need a coin toss after all...
What I find really interesting is how Americans register their "allegiance" when the register to vote. In Australia, voting is compulsory, so there is no option to declare your allegiance. I'd be interested to know how it affects the way politicians campaign - safe seats and marginal seats are determined according to the last election, and poll numbers, but I wonder if maybe it makes politicians a little less lazy if they don't have a list of people who have declared themselves one way or the other. Having said that, I've come across a few Vox-ers who have voted differently to how they are registered...
I obviously don't get to vote in the US election, and am also torn between Obama and Hillary, but in my heart of hearts, I really want Hill to get the nomination. I feel that any woman who is strong enough to survive the turbulent political career of her husband, and then go on to launch a high profile political career of her own (outside of First Lady, that is) has got serious balls.
Although I am not an American I agree that Hillary is the right person for the job Obama although good is not ready for the possibility of being the president. To a degree Hillary has been there and kinda done it and she knows what to expect and to be honest I think she would Kick Ass
No matter which way you, or anyone else goes, I am just thrilled to see people waking up, doing some (maybe not all they should, but some) homework and decided to make a passionate choice.
Great post, Cate.
there is nothing more annoying to me in this election than ron paul supporters. give up already.
As for the Gay Marriage issue, I do believe a compromise, AT LEAST, should be reached, I don't pretend to know the best way to do that. Small, local governments is not a bad thing, that is what our country was founded on.
I thought about writing a huge response and go more in depth here, but something tells me you wouldn't appreciate it anyway. But I will say this: I will not give up fighting for what I believe in... and I would say the same to you.
Hill's getting my vote as well.
I s'pose since you read my blog a few times you know I'm an Obama supporter.
I do feel compelled to say Obama's about as pro-gay as any contending presidential candidate can get -- he walked into MLK's church in the South (on MLK day), and admonished the Church for acting in an un-Christianlike way towards gays. And got applause, because he's a badass like that.
If it were between McCain and Obama of course I would vote for him. It's not that I hate Obama, it's just when it's between him and Clinton, Clinton is the clear choice for me.
However, that being said, it doesn't really matter who was running against John McCain because I'd vote for them just to keep McCain out.